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Friday, January 10, 2014

2014 let's do this

Wow, 2014 huh? OK well let's get on with it then.

I don't make resolutions anymore.  I find them silly and too much pressure.  It's kind of gross what we do to ourselves when the "new year" comes around.  We convince ourselves  we haven't done anything with our lives for the previous twelve months and become determined to change everything.  Yuck.  Then we judge each others resolutions and make it a competition.  "oh you want to lose 40lbs? well I'm gonna lose 50lbs and become a certified trainer, so there (sticks out tongue like a five year old). " Double yuck.

This year I'm just going to keep doing what I have been doing for the previous year.  Living.  Let me clarify.  I'm going to live my life and not worry so much about what everyone else is doing.  For example, one of the swim moms who means well and is just trying to do the best for her kid by taking over the swim team's operational needs, would normally bother me, and by bother me I mean I would lose my shit and be all "I can't stand that bitch".  The reason? Because I want to be that mom, but I just do not have the tools in my brain tool box to do it.  Yesterday after an email about team pictures and other administrative issues she sent to the athletic director, and principle, then forwarded on to the rest of the parents,  I found myself saying "ok well at least she thought of that and is bringing it to the school's attention, and kept the rest of us in the loop.".  I used to get really frustrated with her daughter for not really supporting the team at meets because she is better friends with other girls that go to rival schools.  Then I had to step back and  put the relationship into perspective that not everyone clicks.  Just because they are on the same team does not automatically make all the kids BFFs. Then I really  had to step back and realize this is not my teammate.  She is my daughter's and if it doesn't bother Ab, then why should it bother me.  At this point I have stepped back into a- whole -nother county and realized I need find my own thing.

I'm learning everyone has different strengths, organization is not one of mine.  I  know this now.  I have missed too many appointments and scrambled through too many piles of paper looking for an important bill to fool myself anymore.
Thinking outside the box and creativity are my strengths.  I can look at an item and find ten different uses for it. I like that about me. I look at things differently.  My Ab, being sixteen and all, will either find it hilarious or dreadful, but at least I still get a reaction from her.  Many times it is the form of  a post on her Tumblr account. I'm OK with that.
 I don't interact well with people being such an introvert, but when I do connect with someone they will have a friend for life in me.  Unless of course they screw me over and then all that goes out the window, and they are my nemesis for life.  Still working on that. 

I realize its only the 10th of January and all my insights may go out the window tomorrow, but then I will just have to get back on track again on the 12th.

All these new attitudes about life will help me in dealing with the M.S. Monster too, I hope.  I can't do everything. No one can.  I can only do my best and my best only has to be good enough for me.

Happy, belated, New Year Friends. 

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