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Tuesday, May 5, 2015


Choices made, Hell to pay.  I'm not gonna apologize for making it.

I covered all my scars with layers of denial and tears a long time ago.  They're still there, but you'll never see them because you can't open your eyes wide enough to see beyond you.  Worked for what I have. I haven't lived the life I dreamt of.  Haven't come close.  But I do what I can.

 I'll never be the hero of a story. My stories are not for you.  Easily forgotten, easily lost.  One time I forgot myself, let someone get in my head. Poked around stirred up hope and dreams then they were gone.  I think it was a dream because it was dark outside.  Mourning came and it was all gone.

Choices made, Hell to pay.

Always afraid to try.  Always hurt.  Never trusting.  Those lyrics are tattooed in my mind,  if you look close enough you can see the echoes in my eyes.  But you'll never get close enough, I won't let you.

Afraid to live. Afraid to die. Afraid to be dismissed and pushed aside.  That's only part of me.
Longing to belong and know my worth is all of me.

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