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Thursday, May 28, 2015

Parenting

I am taking my 17 year old daughter and niece to a Lana del Rey concert on Sunday. I love live music and was so excited about this  six months ago when I bought the tickets.  Now? I have been obsessing over every aspect of going.

The drive is about 2 hrs.
It's outside and we have general admission lawn seating.
Is it going to rain?
Will the hill be muddy?
The concert is sold out.
What should I wear? I don't want to look like a mom trying not to look like a mom.
I don't know where the bathrooms are. 
Am I going to be able to stand for all those hours?
I have to drive home in the dark!
Blah blah blah and so on.......

I'm truly nearing panic critical mass here.  This all goes with my M.S. experience.  I tend to shy away from crowds and unfamiliar places. The concert venue is is not unfamiliar to me.  I have attended concerts there in the past.  It's actually one of my favorite venues.  I have always gone with my husband though.  Never by myself.

What was I thinking?  I was thinking this would be a great graduation present for my daughter.  I have never wanted my kids to see me shying away from things because of my M.S.  I want to be a strong role model.  I think I have.

Parenting with M.S. has been full of challenges for sure! It has affected every aspect of our lives since the day the girls were born.  The thing is kids are resilient, and this has been their "normal" their whole lives.  The have seen me at my lowest, being hospitalized, with tubes in my arms, not being able to walk, and being completely broken down.  But they have also seen me over come all those things and keep going.

So I will suck it up, put on my flower headband, and hope a friendly cloud of smoke wafts my way to calm my nerves.

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