Google+ Followers

Friday, August 15, 2014

I want to run!

I'm feeling pretty bummed today.  The one thing that makes me feel normal and good about myself has been causing  me a lot of pain lately.  I can't hardly walk in the mornings because my right foot is killing me.  My right ankle is swollen and my heel hurts to touch.  I know it's probably Plantar Faciitis, but I haven't been to the doctor because I really hate going to the doctor.  I have no patience for ailments other than the Monster in my life.  Stupid? Yeppers, and now I'm paying for it.  I don't know why this is happening now after all these years.  My only guess is because I already had issues with slight foot drop in my right leg I have just made it worse somehow.  Whatever the cause the result is an extremely unhappy me.  I just want to feel good about myself and running was one thing I did that helped.  I get frustrated because I'm not as fast as other women my age and I haven't really lost any weight, but still I love it.  Sure I can go to the park and walk now that I "came out" to my running buddies there, but that's not what I want to do. I want to feel strong.  I want to feel healthy.

My real issue is I liked the routine of running.  Getting my clothes together in the morning, lacing up my shoes, driving to the park and running. Then I would get home jump in the shower and try to figure out the rest of my day. Now I am just floundering.  I don't know what to do with myself.  I can't concentrate on a project long enough to complete one.  My house is a mess and I don't know where to start so I just don't.  I am completely frustrated and overwhelmed.  I don't know what to do.  I feel like I just sit here on hold until I have to pick someone up from band, or take another one to work and then pick her up.  It's only 11:30, but I have to think about what to make for dinner already because of all the running the girls have to do. I want to scream.  I want to cry.  I want to run away.  I want to run away for just an hour.  I want to run.

No comments:

Post a Comment