When I got out of the car at the park this morning it was muggy, sticky, and my legs were sore , my first thought was "this run is gonna suck balls". Still, I was already there and knew I had to just start. Once I got going on my usual trail the soreness started to ease, and my breath came regular and steady, I just listened to the sounds of the park. The deeper I got in the park the more peaceful the whole run became. I realized the humidity was actually holding all the scents and sounds closer to me. I was blanketed with the earthy scent of mulch, damp soil, and the heady scent of honeysuckle coming at me in waves. The trees canopied and protected me from the stray rain shower that was moving through. I just let everything fall away. I let birdsong be my music. Time and pace didn't matter. I was lost in the moment. When my 5k run was finished I still felt tired, and had sweat pouring off me in buckets, but I also felt great. It didn't suck balls at all!
Sometimes taking those first steps into something that you really don't want to do will lead to something beautiful in the end. You just have to be open to the experience and let yourself see the good in the moment and the outcome. I have never come home from a run and thought "wow I wish I hadn't done that".
This is the attitude I'm starting to adopt with my medications now too. I really hate Rebif. I think I have made that very clear in past posts, but I know the few seconds of discomfort will ultimately lead to a few more years of quality life for me. After all these years of dealing with the Monster most would think that I would have figured this out by now, but I'm not the quickest when it comes to these things. Maybe it's my aversion to change, who knows, but this is something that is working for me right now.
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