I think I may be losing my "runner card" soon. I haven't run in a week and a half and just don't have the motivation to. I have been trying to plug along for the last few years, even running a half in Nov., but I just don't have the energy anymore. It makes me really sad. My husband says I should just go out and walk, but- and this is really childish I know- I feel embarrassed that I had to stop running and don't want all my "regulars" on the trails to see me. Running always made me feel strong. Stronger than the M.S. and now I just feel defeated.
I know I should be thankful for the ability I had to run. I know that many can not even walk with out assistance or at all. I know when one door closes another opens. I know I should be proud for trying all these years. I know all these things, but it doesn't stop me from feeling a great amount of loss.
I don't mean to sound dire, but right now I really don't know what to do with myself.