Today I'll be receiving day two of IV Steroids. It's kind of funny how after one day people are telling me "oh you look better" or "you're already walkng better". I know they really mean well, but sometimes I just wish they wouldn't say anything. The issues they can't see are much harder on me than the mobility part sometimes.
I realize we are a visual species. If you can see it you can believe it. When it comes to a disease such as MS, friends, family and even caregivers familiar with the disease seem to need that visual proof I'm getting "better". It's tiring. The slurred, garbled speech is not enough for some people to believe I am really having issues. When my hands are shaking while doing simple tasks it's still not enough to for many. "You're just tired, why don't you take a nap" is often heard in my house from my well meaning, blinders wearing husband. But as soon as the cane comes out well then it's real.
I love my friends and family, but sometimes the comments about "looking" better make me feel worse. It puts an added pressure on me to get moving and back to normal again that sometimes I just can't do as quickly as they or even me would like. I want to drive my Dancing Queen to her lessons instead of having my husband who just worked a 10 hr day have to do it. Swimmer Girl is getting on to her practices just fine, but I just don't like having to ask others do what I am here to do. Ya feel me? I want to go to the grocery store and have food and toilet paper- oh don't even get me started on the toilet paper issue!- in the house. I sometimes can't bounce back as quickly as I used to anymore and I don't know how to tell people this without sounding overly dramatic and "look at me I have MS dammit"
How about the rest of you? Does the comment during a treatment "you look better" make you feel better or does it make have a little guilt for not really feeling better?
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